Hollywood Dream Pets and The 12 Days of Christmas

As a child I saw TV shows and movies where the child in the story has a close special bond with a pet.  They'd follow the kid around, slept in their bed, allowed themselves to be put in baby carriages, and other acts of indignity.  The pet was cool with it because they loved the child that much.  Or just had a tremendous amount of patience.  Having grown up with animals all my life, I can't say I ever experienced such a thing.  Now I had good experiences (I wasn't a schmuck or anything), but the sight of a baby carriage was enough to send any animal running.  I learned from an early age that you had to respect your pet, and if he wanted space, it was wise to let him have it. So all those movies and TV shows that depicted differently seemed like a bunch of Hollywood bullshit to me. 

As an adult I still love animals, especially my cats.  My cats adore me because I respect their space, and they know I've got their back.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I witnessed the Hollywood type of bond I've heard about.

A few years ago we adopted 2 female kittens.  They were the last left of the litter, and I couldn't bear to leave only one there alone.  One was a tiny runt.  She wasn't much to look at, but I think all cats are cute, so that wouldn't stop me.  Divine immediately picked up the runt and dubbed her Ariel, after her favorite Disney princess.  Because she was 6, and that's what 6 year olds do.  Ariel became the Hollywood dream pet in Divine's world.  She'd put her in the baby stroller and push her around the house.  Ariel sleeps on her bed every night even to this day, and when Divine carts her around the house in her arms, Ariel is totally cool with it. 

I thought maybe it was in Ariel's personality, just laid back to allow herself to be mauled at will by a little girl.  But as an adult cat Ariel deals out vengeance on her much larger-girthed sister when she's tired of her crap.  Hands down Ariel is the best hunter, bringing us 'presents' of her conquests.  She kicks ass.  But NOBODY has her heart like Divine.

So this year Divine decided to write a holiday ode to her best friend.  She wrote most of it, with a little help.  (it's the condensed version, because the full one would be a little...repetitive)

Divine's 12 Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Ariel gave to me:

Twelve shreds of toilet paper
Eleven packing peanuts
Ten cotton balls
Nine plant pieces
Eight bottle caps
Seven chewed pencils
Six twist ties

Five pieces of string

Four ponytail holders
Three hairballs
Two dead mice
And one broken ornament from my tree