Emergency

Like most kids, my son loves to play video games. We have a console, which requires a degree in electrical engineering to set up on our TV. My husband had it set up, but something happened. Somebody pushed buttons on the VCR, remote, or something, because it wasn't working. After 20 minutes of doing everything I knew how to do, I gave up. He would have to wait for Daddy to come home from work to work his wire and button magic. I turned on some music and went back to cleaning.

A few minutes later, my youngest hands me the phone. "It's Daddy." I hadn't heard the phone ring.

Our son had called him, told him there was an emergency.

"What's the emergency?"

"The video game won't work."

"Put your mother on the phone."

I had a talk with him about what constitutes an emergency.

Shocking! Bees in the walls!

A few weeks ago we bought our 4 year old son a very cool nightlight. It looks like a small lava lamp, with blue luminescent liquid that circulates a reflective glitter around. The first night we plugged it in, he was fascinated with it. A half hour or so after saying goodnight, we heard a blood-curdling scream come from his room, followed by hysterical cries. We bolted upstairs. "The bees! The bees!" he kept screaming between his uncontrollable sobs. He had tried to unplug his nightlight and touched the metal prongs while they were still connected to the outlet. We explained to him about electricity and why he shouldn't play with it. Of course, that couldn't be the end of it. Today we found him trying to put something in an outlet. Again.

"Remember the bees?"

"But we can pour bee-juice in there, and then the bees will get dead!"

At this point I'm having ugly visions. This is one of my monkey-children. No matter where you put it, or how high, if he wants it bad enough he will get his hands on it.

"You are NOT spraying anything in my outlets. Do I make myself clear?"

"You don't spray it, you put it in a cup and pour it in. Then the bees will find it and eat it, and then they'll get dead!" He's proud of himself. He believes he's found a solution to a massive problem, and all he needs to do is convince us of his brilliance.

My husband steps in. "There are no bees in the walls, son." He goes on to explain by using the example of static electricity. He shows him how if he shuffles his feet on the rug, he can zap someone. Our son is excited to find a new way to torture his sisters. My husband informs him how the electricity in the walls is much more powerful and can even kill you. His answer?

"Daddy, bees can't kill you. They just sting you."

We may have to refer to Schoolhouse Rock for this one. In the meantime we're going to make sure the Raid is in an ultra-secure place.

"Glue does not make good chapstick."

That's what my daughter learned in school today. And of course, she lost a ticket for that one. sigh.

Two Hour Delay

The most wonderful news a mother can hear. I'm set up with a local TV station to email me when there is a delay or cancellation. So before bedtime last night, I knew. Even better. I slept in till 7:40 and didn't have to scramble out of bed and fly up the stairs to rush my children out of bed. I could have a cup of coffee, catch up a bit, and relax. The kids woke up on their own and came downstairs for breakfast. Still no rush. They can get themselves dressed for a change. Usually if I don't dress them they lolligag until we're totally cramped for time. We were ready with time to spare.

And the best part? They still go to school. I have a chance to get some housework done. Everyone is in a more relaxed mood.

It's gonna be a good day.