The Sound of Silence, Blogher Style

Last year Hubby and I wrote all these Christmas Carol parodies for our kids. It was a joke, and Kristin egged me on to post them. Truth be told I was too chicken shit, because some stick-in-the-mud would think I was abusing my kids. In reality they just rolled their eyes and went "MOM" in that way where it has two syllables instead of one. Inspiration strikes in weird places. Today 'The Sound of Silence' rolls through my head, Blogher style, complete with alternate ending:

Hello Kristin, my old friend,
We get to share a room again,
At the Hilton in big New York,
and now I'm feeling like a real dork
And the conference
we've come miles to attend,
my best friend,
is known as Blogher

We entered through the doors and saw,
Ten thousand women maybe more,
I screamed "Holy hormones, Batman"
"I think I need to pop some Ativan"
The elevator crammed
while piped-in muzak played,
Our nerves were frayed,
In all the bustle
of Blogher

We went to seminars galore,
Met new friends at Sparklecorn,
"Did you get a lot of swag?"
"How will it all fit in my bag?"
While the bathroom lines
drastically increase in length,
I've got the strength
To wait my turn
at Blogher

Having to call my man was hard,
I think I maxed my credit card
Times Square and 5th Avenue,
I don't have a single clue
how to continue
after eyeing all that swank
And so my bank
just adores Blogher

We pack our things with a slight frown,
My bag weighs a thousand pounds,
After lunch with A.L.I.,
we said our goodbyes
embracing friends
we've just met face to face,
I've made my case,
to return
to Blogher

alternate ending:
How did we end up here in jail?
I hope our husbands can post bail.
Did it happen with our consent?
We meant no malicious intent
The experience would cement this in our brain,
While we refrain
from blame
at Blogher