Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Back to Work, People!

After a heart breaking hiatus, Mr. Desktop and I are back on speaking terms now that he has returned from the hospital.  He said something about 'exhaustion' and 'being worked to death'.  It doesn't take him nearly as long to do or remember things, maybe because he heard me say that his next fate will be one of those recycling days they have around here periodically.  (Who am I kidding?  They don't have those around here.)  Or maybe it's due to the extended vacation he decided to take and thus has more energy.  But I did have to have his mother, brain and memory transplanted to get that kind of obdience coupled with a few threats.

After he came back, we had a meeting to update him.  Since he couldn't remember a damn thing, that took all day.  Then I had to teach him how to function.  I pay for his food, which is unlimited.  In an act of kindness, his health insurance from Norton was reinstated.  I generously gave him an office with a window.  And I do allow him contact with the outside world, he just has to share it...kinda like a party line. 

But alas, there is unrest in the kingdom.  The VP of Operations laptop is resentful for having to take on Mr. Desktop's workload while he was in the hospital.  He says it's degrading that he doesn't have his own office or a desk, and wants to know why Mr. Desktop constantly needs bailouts.  His workspace has TWO windows, and a soft cushy seat.  Norton Health Insurance and all the food he can consume too. Until recently he only worked part time in the evenings.

The laptops in the education department are pissed too.  They're angry that they don't get an office with a window or a Norton health plan.  They tell me it's a 'Cadillac plan' and they're going to submit a grievance with the union.  They just don't happen to like the Kaspersky plan issued to them by said union.  They also seem to detest the Net Nanny system, muttering something about 'big brother watching'.  I reminded them that when they chose to join the army of education laptops in the union, they had to abide by union rules and programming.  They have the same food plan AND they only work 5 hours a day WITH summers and holidays off.  Let's see if they can renegotiate THAT contract!

They heard me discussing getting a personal assistant one day, so they're all miffed. They want the important job, but nobody wants to do the work required.  I'm a busy gal, you know.  I need reliable help ready at any given moment when inspiration strikes. Why is good help so hard to find?


Kakunaa said...

I LOVE this. LOL.

Kristin said...

Very funny. Do you think your computers have been spreading their subversive behavior to my borrowed laptop?